Monday, July 7, 2008

"THE BIG PAYBACK"

After getting served more times than a churro at Disneyland last week, I finally got some some sweet redemption and good times to put me back in a Beijing State of Mind. On Thursday night I met my French friend Miss Julie Metral and two of her fellow female Frenchies at a restaurant called "The Green T House". It was one of those uber-modern restaurants where all the entrees have wacky names, like "Sunset on a Deserted Island", and other sayings that are generally reserved for the mouths of men who unbutton their shirts three buttons down and love trance music. The food was fantastic, as my favorite entree involved a sliced apple topped with walnuts, goat cheese, and honey mustard, with a goldfish in an over-sized bowl of course, in the middle of the platter. I was about to dare one of the Frenchies to do it for a free meal, but when I saw the look in her eyes likes a Great White Shark gunning for a pregnant seal, I quickly changed the subject. But it was a good time, funny jokes, mostly aimed at a battle between France vs. America, and a taxi ride home where the driver had his head so close to the window I thought it might be super-glued to his forehead.

After completing my work-week it was finally time to celebrate the fabulous Fourth of July in Beijing. Let's just say Beijing doesn't really raise the roof for America's Day of Independence, as I literally had forgotten that it was the Fourth until three P.M. that day. There were no fireworks, or scandalous Newport Beach parties on 43rd Street, but as always my fantastic watering hole "Vics" (the Real Cancun of Beijing) was open for business. My friend Victoria once again proved to be the ultimate "Trojan Horse": for Justin, myself, and two other "dudes". Victoria once again got the hookup on the tables, shot across all boundaries into the secret lair of "ballers" and what-not, and after the entire party posse gave her hugs and complimented her on her attire, we jumped into the mix like a troll under a bridge and crashed their table before they could say "Uncle Sam". Victoria rules: she is always one of the five best looking girls in the club, is invited to every private party and restricted table, and has no shame letting my friends and I invade more territories than a game of Risk. Unfortunately for "Queen Vic" this was not her night, as she got a little too rambunctiously intoxicated and ended up straddling more small Asian men than Michael Jackson's greatest fantasy. We had the greatest pics ever to showcase her night to not remember, but they were taken on her camera, and the chance of us seeing these pics is the same as "Screech" being voted "Man of the Year". But it was a great night, looking back I still have an ear-to-ear grin. This would also be the last night I would tangle with my partner in crime Justin, who is on a plane destined for Michigan at this exact time.

On Saturday I woke up and got a text inviting me to the very basketball game that I had gotten served at, the week previous. All afternoon I tangled with the idea of whether or not to play ball, and as I was at the local mall looking for pics of Chinese couples wearing matching outfits (no look yet guys but I will continue my big game hunt until I leave this country), the song "The Big Payback" by James Brown blasted in my headphones.

"Hey! Gotta gotta pay back!! (The big payback)Revenge!! I'm mad (the big payback)Got to get back! Need some get back!! Pay Back! (the big payback)That's it!! Payback!!! Revenge!!!I'm mad!!" It was my calling to lace up the sneaks, throw on the old Alpha Tau Omega shirt from SC, and come back for blood. Fortunately for me, this week there were no pro's, I mean there were probably not even anybody that played more competitively than junior-varsity basketball, and a few guys that had only a borderline understanding of the game. I took these guys to the cleaners, and it was the single most dominating performance of my life. I ran the point, picked my own team ( a completely unfair one of course), and we ran games from the beginning to the end. As a side note, a girlfriend of one of the guys used my digital camera to take lots of pics of the game, and I will posting these pics sometime tomorrow, in a blog entitled "The Big Payback 2" (because one payback is just not enough).

After the game the entire Chinese basketball brotherhood asked me to come out to dinner with them, and since I have decided the best way to experience this culture is to always say yes to these kinds of offers (especially when food is involved), in a moment's notice I was in the back of an Audi on the way to some Chinese restaurant located right off of campus at Tsinghua. One of the guys, who is a little uncomfortably fond of me, explained that we would be playing a simple card game with dinner. Fantastic I thought, this is just like home: maybe some "21" , "Spades", "Hearts", I mean just wanted to keep stacking (for the record I am the world's worst shuffler of cards, and I constantly pass the buck to somebody else by saying I have a jammed finger or some other fake injury). Well it turns out this was no game I was familiar with, as the simple explanation turned into a lengthy discussion of the various aspects of the game. There is a judge, a cop, a president, a killer, and at various times in the game everybody would close there eyes and point to who they thought the killer was and scream. Oh, they were also playing the game in the dialect of Mandarin. LOL. Needless to say I sat this one out and kept my mind on my food, and my food on my mind. All you can eat, all you can drink, $35 RMB (a little over five dollars), and the food was fantastic, you gotta love it! I will also have pics of the feast as well.

I headed home after hanging out for a bit, called it a night, and prepared for Sunday. This time it was a funday, because I got to see UFC 86 (QUENTIN "RAMPAGE" JACKSON GOT ROBBED); I took a walk down my area and familiarized myself with my surroundings like I was mapping the Alaskan Forest in the movie "Into the Wild"; and got to end my day with the Nadal vs. Federer Wimbledon finale. You have no idea how many unsuccessful attempts I have made to get an English Sports Illustrated, there is a magazine shack on every corner, and every time Sports Illustrated is the first magazine I see, and it is in Mandarin!!! I have learned how to ask for an English magazine, and have yet to find anything that I would remotely enjoy reading.

I hope everyone had a Happy 4th of July back home. I really miss the holiday but I can't complain. China once again is treating me well, and I even have some skills with the chopsticks now.

Happy Late 4th of July U.S.A.,
Uncle Matt


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